Harper Harps on the Bandwagon at Last!

29 11 2009

Canadians can rest easy now! Woot! Our leader, Mr. Harper, is leading again. Er…that is…he is leading by following, which he excels at and is want to do on most international issues. Climate change, global warming, the end of the world as we know it – whatever your taxonomical preference – has once again niggled its way into Stephen Harper’s agenda by dint of Barack Obama’s attendance at the Copenhagen summit. Phew! I think???

Poor old Stevie must be mightily pissed with the Big “O” south of the border now… Scene: Stevie stomping his shiny shoes in a pique, screeching to get more of those Ignatieff hate ads on the air, scraping his fingers through his starched hair barely able to find a path of any surmountable resistance…

What a nice, comfy niche he had eked out for himself, our fearless un-leader, hiding behind the Ozified, wizard’s curtain of U.S. and Chinese inaction. After all, if the big players don’t play then is there really a ball game? Sheesh, you’d think after having caved to Obama on the Buy American issue, vacillating on what the future role of Canada in Afghanistan will be after 2011 and, with teeth grinding reluctance, contributing proportionate stimulus dollars to the car industry in Canada as the new U.S. administration had done in their country, Obama would have given Harpie some breathing room. But nooo! Mr Barack stick-to-your-word Obama stuck it to the Canadian un-leader by agreeing to attend the climate change conference in Copenhagen. If I played poker I’d probably have a word for a move that brilliant other than “Woot! Obama!”

Harper’s reasoning for not attending in the first place; if the biggest emitters, namely China and the United States, aren’t doing anything then what is the point in the small players taking any action? A reasoning which has stuck in my craw since its early platitudinous naissance. But having had much time to munch on it, run it through the digestive system, I now see an upside to it.

The next time Revenue Canada comes after me for a few dollars in late filing charges I will retort; “What difference can my few dollars make to the overall grinding of the big cogs and humming of the omniscient engine?” I will back up my assertion by relying on Harpie’s logic; there’s no point in me contributing because it really won’t make any difference. How can they dispute me? He is their boss. As the adage goes; a group’s culture always stems from the top. Trickle down crap etc.

When the Red Cross wants my blood or Feed the Children wants my dollar I will use the exact same remonstrance. Surely my piddly little contribution will not make a gnat’s piss worth of difference? I will instruct my children to adopt this new shibboleth. We will all become ego-centric, self-serving, inward-looking moles and the world will implode around us. But we’ll be safe in our silent, dark holes in the ground. Until the very ground disappears beneath us.

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